this just has baby written all over it
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
