google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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