OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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