Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
one might say we're banned from that church
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
