He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
where am i from again
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
And then the night went full on bisexual.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
