First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
