@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize