he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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