Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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