Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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