i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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