Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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