but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
