Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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