spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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