nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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