yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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