I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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