i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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