Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
