It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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