going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
is that a dick in a sweater?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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