I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
