I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
