Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize