it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
