So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize