the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
