Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
