I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
