I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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