no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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