Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
