Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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