one two three fourrrrnication!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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