forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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