I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
