I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
