ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
