im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
