Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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