just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
