i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
