get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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