are you still at the devil's house?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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