can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
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I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
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I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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