you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
