i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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