ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
