you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
