Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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