I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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