I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
