He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
