so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
