A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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