Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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