the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
