so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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