8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
