I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
