He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize