and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So much Jack, so little girl.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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