I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
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