Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
