No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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