Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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